Ianto Jones' iPod Play list
by Ragni Mithrim
Summary: working title. Song fic, not one shot. Janto. Iant's POV. Ianto's feelings for Jack and his plans to deal-or not- with it, set to music. Really really crappy summary, please read!
1. MrCuriosity

_*disclaimer: I have no right to Torchwood, the characters, Celtic Thunder or their music, Willie Nelson, nor the songs "Did you get my Message?" or "Mr. Curiosity" those belong to Jason Mraz, a very talented and wonderful Musician.  
__*Note:I, my duckies, am American *gasps* I know. So please be kind, I'm trying my best. My only exposure to British slang is BBC America. If you see a mistake, or something that Ianto said that should be different, please let me know and I'll fix it.  
__*Warning: This will end up being a Janto fic. If you do not like the pairing, or dislike slash in general, leave. I will not tolerate flames for the warnings I give. At this point the most from Jack and Ianto you can expect to get is a hug. _

It was yet another late night at Torchwood, and while Tosh and Gwen stumbled out of the door and into the elevator, Ianto looked around, surveying the Hub. Owen was zonked out on the couch and Jack was in his office.

Nodding to himself and waving bye to Tosh, who had run back in after forgetting her purse, Ianto moved over to wake Owen up. The couch wasn't comfortable, and he couldn't let the poor man sleep there all night. He wouldn't be able to move in the morning.

Gently waking the good, if not snarky, Doctor up was a bit of a chore, and after promising Owen a thermos of coffee for the road, or rather the taxi ride home Ianto had called for him, he got the man out the door and safely tucked away into the taxi, paying the driver in advance.

Re-entering the hub, the Welshman set about cleaning up the few odd bits and pieces that had been left out.

When he finished cleaning the Hub, the youngest member at Torchwood Three debated going and popping in on Jack to make sure he was all right up there. Yawning slightly he climbed the stairs, reaching the top in time to see Jack heading off towards the vaults. Ah he was probably just feeding the Weevils.

Writing a quick note to Jack, Ianto was off to head home his own self just as the Rift alarm went off. Stopping Mid-step, Ianto turned around and looked at Jack who had come running to see what the matter was.

"Yan?"

Quickly walking up to Tosh's work station, he brought up the channel and sighed. "More Weevils I'm afraid, sir. Shall I ring the others?"

"No, I'll handle this. You just stay here and man the place, let me know if anything else pops up okay?"

"Yes sir."

And with a flourish of Jack's ever present RAF jacket, the immortal American left, leaving Yan alone for not the first time.

About half an hour went by and Jack had rung in to say that he was having particular trouble with this one, and after all but ordering Ianto to stay where he was, said he'd be back when he could. Yawning widely, he decided that coffee and his iPod were in order to stay awake long enough to make sure Jack didn't get himself killed...again.

Walking into the Kitchenette, Ianto fished for his iPod in his deep pockets, finding it under his keys and wallet. Popping the ear buds into his ears, he switched the machine on and-though he'd never be caught dead doing this with the others around..especially Owen- hopped onto the counter and started to sing along with the music.

Yeah he wasn't the best, but he liked to sing, and it kept him from falling asleep. It wasn't like anyone was there to really complain either, and it wasn't like Janet (Jack's "pet" weevil) or any of the other creatures they had down there could hear him.

If you took a look at his iPod play list it was kind of scary when compared to the man his teammates saw on a daily basis. But then again, Ianto Jones at work was much different that Ianto when he was at play. Everything from Celtic Thunder to the Willie Nelson on there. Though honestly, the American music he could blame on Jack, if it was just the two of them, he'd blast whatever he felt like digging out and put it on. It was annoying at first, but now it was just one of those things that if it didn't happen there was cause for worry.

He had several full albums of all sorts of different artists were on there, and there were multiple albums as well.

After finishing "Heartbreaker" from Celtic Thunder, which always gave him a chuckle to hum around Owen, Jason Mraz came on. Hmm, he didn't remember setting it to shuffle, but he didn't care. Checking the Coffee Machine, Ianto poured himself a cup and wandered out of the kitchenette, humming along to the end of "Did you Get my Message?" and sat down in Tosh's chair, back to the Hub door and started to sing along when "Mr. Curiosity" started.

"_Hey Mr. Curiosity  
__Is it true what they've been saying about you  
__Well are you killing me?  
__You took care of the cat already  
__And for those who think it's heavy  
__Is it the truth  
__Or is it only gossip?_

"_Call it mystery or anything  
__just as long as you'd call me  
__I sent the message on did you get it when I left it  
__See well this catastrophic event  
__It wasn't meant to mean no harm  
__But to think there's nothing wrong is a problem_

"_I'm looking for love this time  
__Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry  
__Love is a mystery  
__Mr. Curious..._"

And it was true, Ianto was looking for love, but love it seemed, just wasn't written in the stars for him.

"_Come back to me  
__Mr. waiting, ever patient can't you see  
__That I'm the same the way you left me  
__In a hurry to spell check me  
__And I'm underlined already in envy green  
__And pencil red_.."

Ianto was so into his singing that he didn't notice Jack pulling up in the SUV on CCTV, nor when he led the Weevil in through the back entrance. Not even when the man had walked back into the Hub, just about to ask Ianto why he hadn't given him a hand.

Eyes closed, his face showing the feelings he never let slip, Ianto was just too far in his own world-this being one of those rare moments that no one ever got to see from him except on those way too rare occasions- to notice that he had a very observant audience of one, and that he was reading the voice and the face.

"_And I've forgotten what you've said  
__Will you stop working for the dead and return  
__Mr. curious well I need some inspiration  
__It's my birthday and I cannot find no cause for celebration  
__The scenario is grave but I'll be braver when you save me  
__From this situation laden with hearsay_

"_I'm looking for love this time  
__Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry  
__And love is a mystery  
__Mr. Curiosity  
__Be Mr. please  
__Do come and find me!_"

While the part that was out of his rang played, Ianto took a deep breath trying to keep the tears that were filling his eyes behind his lids from spilling over. That would never do, Men don't cry.

"_I'm looking for love this time  
__Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry  
__And Trying not to ask why  
__Cause love is a mystery  
__Mr. curiosity  
__Be Mr. please  
__Do come and find me_

"_Love is blinding when your timing's never right  
__Oh who am I to beg for difference  
__Finding love in an instant  
__But I don't mind  
__at least I tried, well I tried...I tried..._"

Sighing Ianto was startled when someone came up behind him and gently set and hand on his shoulder. Looking up and back he was ready for someone to have snuck in -though he was sure he would have heard them- to find it was only Jack. Only Jack and he was staring at him like he was just seeing him for the first time.

"Sir?" Ianto asked, slipping back into the facade he held onto so tightly at work. Still piercing blue eyes stared at him and he grew increasingly worried that something bad had happened. "Jack? Jack!"

The Welshman got up and gently set a hand on Jack's arm, the other man's hand having slid off his shoulder when he stood.

"Yeah?" he asked, seemingly coming out of that trance.

"Are you all right? Should I ring Owen?"

"No, no Yan. I'm fine. I just never knew you could sing." Ianto for his part turned a very nice shade of red and looked away, pulling his ear buds out and stuffing them and the little music player they were attached to back into his pocket.

"Yes, well, I'm not very good. When did you get back?"

"Some time between 'pencil red' and 'I've forgotten' I think. I've never heard that song before what's it called?"

Ianto blushed redder and looked over Jack's shoulder towards the kitchenette. "I made coffee."

"Okay. What's the song called? It sounds familiar.."

Ianto shrugged and walked towards the kitchenette. "I'm not sure. A mate of mine put it on there and never titled it for larks. I haven't been able to take it off without deleting my entire play list. Just a silly song anyway." He shrugged and Jack could defiantly see Ianto's age at that moment, and sighed. Obviously he wasn't going to talk to Jack.

"All right Yan. You should go home. You deserve it." he informed as he embraced the younger man and headed up.

Ianto was thanking God that Jack never looked back down, otherwise he would have seen him standing there like an idiot frozen in the moment, shocked that Jack had hugged him like that. Yeah he was shagging Jack, or rather Jack was shagging him, but that was just sex. Nothing really intimate-despite the act its self being intimate. They didn't date, Jack never called him 'Yan' in front of the others, and he never, ever said the three little words that everyone wants to hear and know that the speaker meant. Never.

Recovering, Yan grabbed his coat and rushed out of there, into the Tourist office. He paused briefly to lock the door and then hurried to his car and got out of there as soon as he could.

Reaching his flat, Ianto flew up the stairs and through his door, only to slump against it when he locked it. Sliding down to the floor, a single tear spilled over and trailed down his cheek.

He'd been trying his hardest, but Jack just wouldn't get the hint.

Bowing his head Ianto resigned himself to his loneliness and felt the extreme pain in his chest right where his heart was suppose to be. Despite the beating he could easily feel, Ianto Jones was sure that he had just lost his heart for good.


	2. If It Kills Me

_*Disclaimer: I have no rights to Torchwood, their characters or Jason Mraz's __If It Kills Me__.  
*Note: Again, ducks, if there's something wrong, let me know. I'll fix it.  
*Warnings: Dark thoughts (duh, this is Angst.) Eventual Janto, which means it's slash/yaoi/man-man love, whatever you want to call it. You don't like, you don't read. Simple.  
*Further note: Okay, I just thought that this needs to be explained __**before **__we get to it and people freak. Yeah Ianto's not doing too terribly well emotional-wise. And Yes that is Owen offering to be his friend. Yeah Ianto and Owen friendship, get over it. I know Owen seems a bit OOC, but he can be a nice person. Now On with the piece! _

Coming into work the next day, Ianto dreaded going down to the hub. How long would it take before someone noticed that he wasn't quiet himself today? Here, at Torchwood, probably never, but a man could dream right?

Stopping off in the Tourists office Ianto moved to his little back office, separated from the rest of the area by a bead curtain. Looking at his desk, he frowned and picked up the little Dragon paper weight that sat there. Last year's Christmas present from Jack. A paper weight, a god damned paper weight.

Owen was right, all he was was a part time shag.

Frustrated by the lack of anything he could call a relationship, the tears that suddenly filled his eyes and just the fact that all anyone saw him as was "Tea boy", Ianto threw the paper weight against the wall, but missed. The weight flew out of the office door and shattered against the far wall, which seconds later opened and out stepped Owen Harper.

"Bloody hell Tea Boy! What the hell was that!?" He cried, having heard the crash from the other side, and saw the broken glass. Stepping over it carefully, Owen bent over to pick up what looked like a little glass dragon head. Ianto's paperweight?

"Ianto!?" he called, hand reaching for the gun on his belt. Was Ianto under attack? No the alarm would have gone off, right?

"Ianto?"

There was a shuffling in Ianto's office and carefully looking in Owen saw what appeared to be Ianto's foot sticking out from the other side of the desk. "Ianto, you mind if I come in mate?"

"Go ahead. I'm not stopping you.."

Uh-oh, tea boy sounded upset.

Walking around Owen looked down on the younger man worriedly at the defeated look on his face. Kneeling down he cocked his head to the side trying to get the young man to look at him. Owen had gone into doctor mode, a nice mode but sometimes it wasn't all that great.

Ianto met Owen's gaze after a few minutes of trying and the older man tried not to sigh at the blood shot eyes. "Yan what's up?"

"Nothing Owen. I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Yeah and that's why you decided that should get to meet . C'mon Yanto what's up?"

"You were right. I'm nothing but a part time shag." Ianto laughed bitterly, and dragged both his hands over his face. God he had to stop acting like a girl. He had to stop crying. Grown men do _not_ cry!

"Yan-"

"No, Owen, you were right. I'm just one of Jack's play things. I see that now, but.."

Owen moved to sit next to Ianto and nudged him. "But what?"

"I can't leave him..I can't leave him Owen, it'd kill me..And I can't stop hurting so bad, or crying and I'm just such a bloody baby.." he choked, trying in vain to stop the tears rolling down his face.

Sighing heavily Owen pulled Ianto over to him and held on while the other man sobbed his eyes out. Odd for Owen, but as much as he teased Ianto, and as much crap as he gave him on a daily basis, Ianto Jones was still a close friend of his and Owen would be damned if he let him suffer. The good Doctor was going to have a little chat with Captain Jack Harkness later.

"It's all right Yanto..don't worry Mate.." Owen muttered, wondering how exactly he found himself in this position. He was no good at the comforting thing! Shagging yes, snogging yes, comforting not so much. God where was Tosh when you needed her? Or even Gwen..no, Owen took that back, not Gwen. She would only want to know why Ianto was upset and push him and the man would just clam up.

"Hey, how about I go get Tosh? She's better to talk to than me.." Owen offered and the other man stiffened slightly.

"I'm sorry Owen." Ianto pulled away and got up, wiping his eyes with his handkerchief, replacing it back in his back pocket. "You were headed out. I need to go check in with Jack.."

"Hey, no..Ianto." Owen grabbed his arm to stop his leaving. "I'm not saying I want to leave mate, just saying that Tosh is better at this sort of stuff than I am. I'll listen Ianto, but I don't know how much help I can be."

Ianto smiled and shook his head. "It's fine Owen. Thank you. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything about this to the others. Especially Gwen. She doesn't know when to back off. I think she's worse than Jack is.."

Owen had to laugh at that and Ianto smiled a little.

"You sure mate?"

"Yes Owen. Now I should get down there before Jack attempts to make coffee for himself again. Actually you might want to come with. He's such a baby about a little food poisoning. It's not like he won't heal.." Yan rolled his eyes and Owen laughed again.

"Sure Tea boy."

Nodding Ianto pressed the button to open the door and with Owen headed down to the hub.

#

After making coffee for everyone and checking to make sure there was no rift activity, Ianto headed down to the archives to keep working on his attempts to organize it. He had reached the 60s, and found no method what-so-ever to their filing system.

After checking to make sure that no one was headed that way to bug him for more coffee or something else that they needed him to do, Ianto fished out his iPod and hit play.

"_Hello  
__Tell me you know  
__yeah you figured me out  
__something gave it away  
__it would be such a beautiful moment  
__to see the look on your face  
__to know that I know that you know now_

"_And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking  
__you know nothing._"

Oh boy, more Jason Mraz. This was getting a little weird. Oh well, he liked all the songs on the music player and started to hum as he separated out the different files on his long table.

"_well you and I  
__why we go caring on for hours on end  
__we get along much better than you and your boyfriend_

"_Well all I really wanna do is love you  
__A kind much closer than friends use  
__but I still can't say it after all we've been through_

"_And all I really want from you is to feel me  
__as the feeling inside keeps building  
__and I will find a way to you if it kills me  
__if it kills me.._"

Ianto sang along subconsciously, focusing more on his filing than anything else. Not even the foot steps that echoed down the hall. Everyone should know better than to enter the Archives, it was Ianto's place. It was the one place where he could retreat to, it was something they all had silently agreed on. The man did so much for them, the least they could do was give him a sanctuary, though it was dusty and musty smelling. So the fact that someone was coming down there meant they either needed him up in the Hub, or they wanted him for something else.

"_how long can I go on like this?  
__wishing to kiss you  
__before I rightly explode  
__Well this double life I Lead isn't healthy for me  
__in fact it makes me nervous  
__if I get caught I could be risking it all_

"_cuz maybe there's a lot that I missed  
__in case I'm wrong_

"_all I really wanna do is love you  
__A kind much closer than friends use  
__but still can't say it after all we've been through_

"_And all really want from you is to feel me  
__as the feeling inside keeps building  
__and I will find a way to you if it kills me  
__if it kills me..  
__If it kills me.._"

Ianto had stopped his sorting and was again getting into his singing. Boy these songs were just soundtracks to his life weren't they? Up beat tune with sad lyrics. Definately his life.

"_If I should be so bold  
__I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand  
__I'd tell you from the start about how I long to be your man  
__but I never said a word  
__I guess I've gone and missed my chance again_.."

Ianto leaned against the table, head down still singing. God, if Jack were to catch him, he'd..probably say 'nice song what's it called'? For an immortal like him who's seen it all, it was amazing that Jack just could not see how Ianto felt for him. And he was getting fed up with it. It hurt him so bad to see Jack when he flirted with people, especially Gwen. Yan wasn't good enough for the Great Captain Jack Harkness apparently. But just good enough to be his little sex toy, his little secret on the side. His lover-not-lover on the Down low.

"_Well all I really wanna do is love you  
__A kind Much closer than friends use  
__I still can't say it after all we've been through_

"_And all really want from you is to feel me  
__as the feeling inside keeps building  
__and I will find a way to you if it kills me  
__if it kills me..  
__If it kills me.._"

It was killing him, slowly but surely, every single day this thing with Jack was killing him. And Ianto was powerless to walk away. He needed Jack like an addict needed his fix. Ianto was head over heels, stupidly, madly in love with Jack, and the object of his love didn't-or wouldn't- see it.

"_Oh I think it might kill me_

"_And all I really want to do is feel you  
__Yeah the feeling inside keeps building  
__I'll find a way to you if it kills me  
__if it kills me..  
__It might kill me.._"

As the song came to a close, Ianto sighed heavily and went back to his filing. After all that's all he was good for.

Sudden heavy foot fall brought Ianto from his dark thoughts and mechanical filing. Jerking his head up sharply to the right, there he saw none other than the man his thoughts had been focused on. This was starting to get weird..then again this was Torchwood, so it wasn't so odd that Jack kept popping up everywhere. The man lived there.

Removing his ear buds and putting his iPod into his pocket he turned to his Captain.

"Yes sir?"

"Can you tell me why Owen came into my office a few minutes ago, spitting fire and telling me that I better not hurt you or I better bloody well pray that this immorality thing will hold out?"

Ianto paled slightly and shook his head. "No idea sir. Perhaps Owen just saw something and thought he needed to step in."

As Jack walked closer, Ianto picked up a stack of organized files and quickly walked away over to the correct filing cabinets and started to put them away, hoping to get away from the immortal. No such luck.

"And what does Owen think he sees that makes him want to step in?"

"No idea sir. Does Owen really need a real reason to threaten you?"

Jack shrugged and leaned against the cabinet looking down at the kneeling man and ran a hand through his hair. Ianto's heart skipped a beat, and he swallowed hard. "Jack, please, I'm busy."

"I can see that Yan. But I want to know why Owen thinks he has to worry about you?"

The Welshman shrugged and stood, stepping around and away from Jack and his petting. After several trips between table and cabinet, with Jack following all the while, Ianto wondered that if maybe he went out into the hub he could lose Jack and double back to the archives?

Glancing briefly at the table, Ianto picked up his steps and exited the archive, Jack two steps behind him, still pestering him.

Reaching the hub, he saw Tosh at her work station with Owen next to her at his own. God knew where Gwen was and Ianto could care less. He strongly disliked her, truly. She could have gotten eaten by Janet for all he cared. Then again if that happened he would have to feel sorry for Janet, Gwen probably didn't taste that good.

Climbing up the few stairs to be level with the computers and his friends, Ianto sighed heavily trying to check his growing annoyance. Jack really was blind, if he couldn't see that Owen meant that Jack's relationship with Ianto-or lack there of- was hurting him.

"Ianto talk to me.."

"No Jack. I do not want to talk to you. Can you not take a hint!?" the Welshman spun around to face the American and stared him dead in the eye, gray to blue and all but yelled, "If you are so blind as to not see that I do not want to talk to you right now, then it's no wonder that you can't see that I-" his voice caught and that was enough time for Owen and Tosh to get between them, afraid that it might get physical, in the bad way, Owen taking Ianto while Tosh took Jack.

While Toshiko tried to keep Jack with her and not go after Owen and Ianto, those two were headed up to the tourist office. As they were coming out of the door, in came Gwen holding pizza boxes. "Owen? Ianto?" she asked, suddenly switching into concerned mum mode.

"Not now Gwen. Ya might want to leave Jack alone too, he's grumpy. You head on down, we'll be down soon." Owen ordered, motioning with his head to the door, while physically leading Ianto into the office. Gwen seemed to follow orders and after getting Ianto settled on his chair, Owen poked his head out just to make sure. They were alone.

Coming back in, Ianto had moved to the corner and was curled up, head resting on his knees. Owen moved over to sit next to him and nudged him gently. "C'mon tea boy, spill it. What's did he do now?"

"Nothing Owen. Just kept asking me why _you_ yelled at him. What the hell were you thinking?! I don't need you trying to keep me from getting hurt! It's too damn late for that Owen! Now just sod off you-you-you Wanker!"

Owen sat open mouthed for a minute, then two and then shook his head. "I'm going to chalk that up to you being pissed off, and not really meaning it like that. Ianto you need to tell him. If you don't, I'm telling Tosh and _she'll_ tell Jack. Or, rather she'll tell Gwen who'll go running to Jack wide-eyed and hurt. Now do you want that?"

"No! I just want everyone to leave me alone. I'm not worth the effort..just the Tea boy.." he whispered, and Owen wrapped an arm around him.

"You aren't just the tea boy. C'mon. I'll tell Tosh I'm takin' you home. C'mon up mate.." Ianto stood up under Owen's direction and as the left, Owen called Tosh on her mobile and told her that Ianto wasn't feeling well.

"Yeah Tosh, I'm takin' him home. Yeah tell Jack that unless someone's dying I'm not comin' back in. Thanks Tosh.." Tucking his phone back into his pocket Owen unlocked his car and walked around and got in the driver's side while Ianto got settled in the passenger seat.

Pulling out of the lot, Owen drove Ianto back to his flat in near silence. Ianto had plugged himself back into his iPod and was staring out the window looking fragile, very young, and so lonely. Oh Jack was so dead when Owen got to work tomorrow. Very dead. So what if it didn't stick? That just meant Owen could kill him again.

Owen came to realize not too long ago that he cared about Ianto. Not in the way that he'd try to woo him away from Jack- and even if it was that way it was pointless to try- but more like he would a younger brother. The one he never had and kind of never wanted. Simply Ianto was family and no one hurt his family.

Finally reaching Ianto's flat, Owen pulled over in the residential parking and moved to help Ianto out, which he didn't need. He was already out and heading towards the front door. "Oi! Wait up Yan!" He called running to catch up.

Silently they walked up the stairs, skipping the lift and soon reached Ianto's floor. Unlocking his door Ianto entered without closing it, Owen doing it for him. Slipping his shoes and jacket off, Ianto threw his suit jacket in the direction of his chair and while it landed on the back he flopped down on the sofa, loosening his tie and rolling over to face the back.

Owen looked around and nodded to himself. There were a lot of book shelves full of books, DVDs and CDs. No life apparently, but then again Ianto was their whipping boy at Torchwood. It shouldn't have surprise Owen as much as it did.

Slipping his own shoes off, the doctor settled on the other arm chair and waited for Ianto to talk to him.

Reaching down towards the other end of the sofa, Ianto grabbed a pillow and pulled it up over his head, as if he were sheltering himself from the outside world, the world beyond his music and his thoughts.

Sighing heavily Owen got up and went to the kitchen to get a drink and order lunch. This was going to be a long day..


	3. Stop Acting the Fool Harkness

_*Disclaimer: I have no rights to Torchwood or their characters. I'm just playing and am writing this purely for entertainment purposes. I get no money from this (though if you just want to send me money it'll go to my "New Computer that's not a god damned dell" fund)  
*Note: Okay ducks, two things. Again I'm American and as such have limited knowledge of Britishisms. (Or simply put I know the American version of British words.) So if I get something wrong, or it should be a different word that means the same thing, please let me know. I'll fix it. And this chapter does not have a song included. Why? Because Ianto is not present and he's busy talking to Owen. This is Toshiko talking to Jack. So, sorry to disappoint, no song..(that and I couldn't come up with one...*blushes*) Forgive me loyal reader(s), you will have more next chapter.  
_**Many thanks to my reviewers! Those are always appreciated. D I'm glad that Owen's not OOC yet and I'll keep Ianto's whining in mind. It's going to go away soon, it was just one of those, I've had enough things. so dont' worry, he'll be back to taking Jack's crap soon..And sorry if Tosh is a bit OOC, but she seems the protective type.  
This is really short..i promise I'll write Jack and Owen's little chat later. My muse has dried up, i need to finish season two..Anywho on with the story!  
=D**

* * *

As Owen led Ianto up and out of the hub heading towards the office, Toshiko was busy trying to keep Jack from following them.

"Tosh, Move!"

"No Jack! Leave them be! Leave Ianto be!" she stated firmly, physically putting her slight self between Jack and the door. Jack didn't want to hurt her, so he stopped struggling, and sat down in a chair.

"What did I do tosh? What did I do so wrong?"

Toshiko just looked at him expectantly. Was Jack really that blind? It was obvious to all of them-even Gwen- that Ianto was in love with their Captain. Jack had to have noticed, right? He couldn't be that clueless as to Ianto's feelings, could he?

"Jack Harkness, or whatever your real name is, I cannot believe that you think by acting the fool that you'll keep Ianto from hurting. I shouldn't say this, but he loves you and if you don't feel the same you should just tell him and stop playing with him. This idiot act is not cute, or funny, and it most certainly isnt' doing Yanto any good!" Toshiko stood in front of Jack, arms crossed over her chest, staring hard at him. And as serious as this was, Jack couldn't help but think of a mother scolding her wayward son.

Snapping back from his musings, Jack was about to tell Tosh why he went down there to talk to Ianto, when the alarm sounded and Gwen entered, holding pizzas.

"Is everything all right? I just saw Ianto and Owen. Ianto didn't look too terribly well. Did something happen?" she asked, all wide-eyed and innocent, and Tosh had to keep from rolling her eyes.

"It's nothin Gwen, Ianto just had a fright down in the archives. Owen was just making sure he was all right." She stated, as her mobile started to ring. "Excuse me." she nodded to Gwen and as she walked off to speak privately, she whispered to Jack, "You're not off the hook yet _Captain_."

Nodding Jack got up and headed to his office, waving Gwen away when she tried to talk to him. Half way up the stairs, Tosh called to Jack.

"Ianto's not feeling well. Owen's taking him home, and staying with him just in case. He said, quote: "Tell Jack that unless someone's dying I'm not coming back". Let's hope the rift decides to behave to-"

And with that the rift alarm sounded and rushing to her computer Tosh called, "Weevils, three of them down by the warehouses!"

With the remaining Torchwood three team sprung into action.


	4. Hurt alot worse when you go

_*Disclaimer: I have no right to Torchwood, the characters, or the song lyrics for "Hurt a lot worse (when you go)". that belongs to Keith and his Record lable, Show Dogs.  
*Note: Okay Ducks, hopefully you know by now that My Britishims aren't the best. And I'm not very pleased with this Chapter. Personally I think I can write better, but I've just gotten my muse (Henry) back from where ever he ran off to.  
*Warnings: Established Janto, eventual loving, caring Janto fic. Not just Shagging Mates (is that the equivalent to F* buddies?). SLASH, obviously, with hints of OwenxIanto friendship. Though I suppose if you've made it this far you know all about this and I can stop putting this up...  
*__**HUGE**__** THANK YOU TO**__:Winnie Conway, Nyjen, Coffeegirl09, LittleMissTake, Doctor-Who-Fangirl, WickedWitchoftheSE, labellie, ForeverBossy26, picco, and Twstdwlf For your reviews, favorites and alerts. That's much appreciated. And to Evilpinkbutterfly101 who talks Torchwood with me, helps me get my British not so nice phrases right, and just keeps my little writer's hopes up. D thanks mate! My apologies to anyone i've forgotten..  
*Side note: If anyone knows Welsh or has an online translator site that has English to Welsh, i need help for Up coming chapters, please PM me. thank you! _

The next day Ianto and Owen came into work, looking no worse for wear. Tosh looked up, having arrived before them, the worried expression softening only slightly.

"Hello Ianto. Hello Owen." Gwen greeted as she walked past them, heading towards the elevator out.

The two men walked up the few stairs to be level with Tosh, Ianto heading to the Kitchenette, and Owen his workstation. When Owen sat down, Toshiko IM'd him, having rigged up away to actually be able to do that.

_Iko-How's Yan?  
__MightyO-He's okay. I think yesterday was just the day that everything decided to hit at once. After I got him home he seemed fine.  
__Iko-Home?  
__MightyO-His place Toshi, not mine. He seemed better this morning.  
__Iko-That would explain why you're wearing his Cardiff Dragons Shirt.  
__MightyO-It was this or one that said "I love my Mam", and had a picture of his Mum on it.  
__Iko-Awww..that's cute. I've seen him wear it. Somehow he makes it sexy.  
__MightyO-Oh god Tosh! Please?  
__Iko-Sorry..D  
__MightyO-Here he comes with coffee..Did you know he has an iPod? he almost never takes that thing out at home.  
__Iko-yeah, i put most of the music on there for him. He has it on down in the archives too. Oh hold on.._

The IMing paused briefly as Ianto set the mugs down next to them.

"Oh Tosh, Owen, if you wouldn't mind, please stop talking about me. I'm fine. Really." He smiled at them, and he really did seem better than yesterday.

Having given the two their coffee-- and purposely skipping Jack-- Ianto asked if there was anything else they needed.

"Uh, yeah. Gimme," Owen held out his hand expectantly and Ianto reluctantly handed over his iPod.

"If you put anything on there I will be forced to give you decaf for a month."

Owen chuckled and handing the headphones back, headed down to Autopsy, with his iPod speakers in hand. Where he had produced them from, god only knew, but the man had them and hooked it up.

Smiling at Tosh, Ianto looked around and noted that for once the place was clean, or as clean as it got. A screech from above made Ianto smile wider. Myfanwy wanted attention. Dashing off to the kitchenette, he returned with a bar of chocolate and tossed it up.

As she caught it and landed slightly off kilter, Ianto walked over and started petting her neck.

"How is it you can pet her, but if any of us try to she'll snap?" An American voice asked loudly, and the Welshman stiffened slightly. He turned around and Myfanwy nuzzled his head with her pointed beak, mussing up his hair.

"Because I feed her, clean her cave out, and pay attention to her." Ianto replied his mask of indifference firmly in place. But underneath it all, Ianto knew what he had to do. If he wanted to be able to preform well on this job, to function in life, both in and out of Torchwood, he had to end it with Jack. It would be hard, but he had to do it.

"Well, jeez, if that's all it takes then it's no wonder why Janet loves Owen so much." Jack grinned his grin, and Ianto felt his knees go weak slightly.

"Actually Owen just runs painful medical tests. I feed, clean up after and generally take care of the Weevils as well."

Tosh cheered inwardly. Ianto was telling Jack how much he actually did around there. And he really did do alot. Way more than just making the coffee, straightening the archives and making sure Jack's horniness levels were kept down. Oh no, if Ianto stopped working or was incapable to work for a few days, they would probably die of either Caffeine with drawl or from the filth.

"So if I were to get a dog?"

"I would end up taking care of it. Which is why there's a strict 'No Pets' rule here at Torchwood three. I have enough work keeping all of you running, along with taking care of the Archives, cleaning up after all of you-Owen in particular when he gets in his Mad Scientist moods- and taking care of all the non-terrestrial, pre-historic and just plain weird things that the Rift likes to spit out at us. No Dogs."

Tosh was exceedingly proud that Ianto could put his foot down, despite the way he tended to just roll over and please them.

when Ianto looked to her, she nodded in support and he grinned.

"Now, Sir, I know you have a massive stack of paper work on your desk that needs to be finished. UNIT keeps calling me asking where it is. Now. Go Finish Your Work. I'll bring you your coffee when I can see your head over the stack."

Jack stared wide-eyed at Ianto's manipulation. Ianto just looked passive, though his eyes gleamed knowing full well he'd won that round.

Humming to the music that Owen had blaring from Autopsy, Ianto sat down at the Doctor's station and brought up the files he had managed to transfer from paper files onto the the computers.

"Tosh can you hand me..thank you."

"No problem Yan. That was brilliant."

"You just have to know what to use against him. Jack needs his coffee. I need that paper work done. And since I make the coffee, I can get the paper work done quicker than if I were to have Owen hook up an IV to him and give him a Caffeine drip." Tosh smiled at him and patted his shoulder.

Smiling back Ianto turned back to the computer before him, and eyes never leaving the sheets in front of him he typed up all the handwritten reports and only stopped when he needed to flip and/or change the sheets.

After about two hours of only typing and his iPod to be heard, a pair of hands covered his eyes.

"Not funny sir. I need to finish this."

"All the paper work's done. Coffee?"

"In a minute. I just need to finish this first, which I cannot do with your hands over my eyes sir."

The hands left and he heard Jack sigh. "I thought I told you not to call me 'sir' anymore."

Ianto shrugged and with skills any secretary would kill for, finished typing two and a half pages of tiny scrawling handwriting in a matter of minutes.

Getting up, Ianto ignored Jack's following him and slowly started the process of making his 'magic' coffee. Pulling out everyone's other mug he filled it up exactly as they had it and set them on his silver tray. Since Jack was standing right behind him, he forced the blue mug of Industrial strength into his hands and proceeded out.

Gwen was still not in, something about Rhys and his mum being sick, so there were only two mugs on the tray. Giving Tosh hers and taking her empty one to be washed later, he got a peck on the cheek and headed down to see if Owen was or today.

"Heads up!" he called and Ianto had enough time to step to the other side of the wall as something exploded. it was.

"Owen please come get your coffee..Wait, don't. I'll go get the mop. Just stay there." He sighed seeing Owen covered in pink alien goo, and everything except directly behind him covered in the same stuff. His iPod, thankfully, was behind him and was not slimed.

Setting the coffee back in the kitchen, Yanto pulled out the mop, bucket and checked that his extra suit was still where he left it and clean. It was.

Taking off his suit jacket, waist coat, tie, shoes and socks, Ianto rolled up his sleeves and pant legs, dreading this. He hated cleaning up alien slime.

"Owen what have I told you about not cutting into-"

"I didn't! I pulled it out of the freezer and 'BOOM', Alien goo everywhere." Owen sounded innocent for once, if a bit annoyed at being slimey and pink.

"Fine, just stay there. I'll clean my way over to you and have Tosh send you some clean clothes to change into." Ianto sighed, as he slowly started to mop up, wondering how in the world he was going to reach the higher parts of the walls.

#

About an hour passed and Ianto finally made it to Owen, and was surprisingly not covered in the goo. Heading back up the now clean stairs he took the clean scrubs from Tosh and handed them to Owen. "Strip."

"WOT!?"

"To your boxers and put those on. I can't have you wandering around the Hub dripping goo. I'm going to have enough trouble with this."

Owen looked rather put out and Ianto raised an eyebrow. "You slept in you boxers on my couch last night."

He had a valid point. Waking up to find Owen asleep on his couch with just a blanket and his boxers between him and Ianto seeing the jewels he doubted that this would bother him too much.

"And you're buying me another Dragons shirt if I can't clean that one. And explaining to my sister why you had to buy me a new one."

"What? Oh hell no Yanto. I am NOT dealing with your family." Owen stated, stripping off his borrowed clothing. Glancing back up Owen turned beet red and cried, "Jack! Tosh!"

Ianto turned around to see the other two watching as Owen changed his clothes.

"GET!"

"I never pegged you for modest Owen Harper."

"And I never pegged you for a creep Jack Harkness!"

"Owen.." Ianto warned, as he kept cleaning, now almost fully done. Except for the higher parts of the walls. He'd have to go find a ladder or something later. They could stay as is for the moment.

Turning around he found that Tosh had gone back to her work, while Jack stayed to leer at him. Owen looked rather pissed, but was quiet none the less. The dirty clothes were in a pile in the corner, dripping goo.

"Owen could you please go get me a bag to put those in? Thank you." he requested as the Medic was more than willing to get out of there.

Jack however decided to come down to talk to Ianto.

Ianto, however ignored him, moving to change the song that was playing. Maybe Jack would get the hint?

_Go on and call me up  
__Tell me you made a grave mistake  
__You know I never once turned you away  
__That is I hate to say  
__I know how good it's gonna to be  
__Just for a night I'll lay you down by me  
__And you lie like you won't say goodbye  
__Like you do every time  
__Come here and kiss and act like you miss me  
__Make me believe we're together  
__Come here and hold me and baby control me  
__Touch me like you'll be here forever  
__You never cut me deep enough to tell you no  
__Ohhh  
__tell me you love me  
__It'll hurt a lot worse when you go_

"Yan, we need to talk."

Ianto paused briefly in his zipping up the body bag. It was dripping more goo on the floor and it was starting to smell bad.

"Yanto.."

"I'm listening sir."

Jack sighed and sat on one of the steps, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I missed you last night."

Ianto said nothing, just trying to muster up the courage he knew he'd need.

"Stay tonight?"

"No Jack."

Jack for his part at least looked a little confused, and went to ask why when Ianto walked over and turned the volume up.

_I'm not what you want  
__No I'm not ever gonna be  
__More than someone you come to in need  
__and you lie like you won't say goodbye  
__Like you do every time  
__Come here and kiss me and act like you miss me  
__make me believe we're together  
__Come here and hold me and baby control me  
__Touch me like you'll be here forever  
__You never cut me deep enough to tell you no  
__Ohhh  
__just tell me you love me  
__It'll hurt a lot worse when you go  
__You never cut me deep enough to tell you no…  
__Ohhh  
__Just tell me you love me  
__It'll hurt a lot worse when you go  
__Girl tell me you love me; it'll hurt a lot worse when you go._

Remaining silent til the song was over, Ianto looked up and stared Jack straight in the eye.

"I'm so sorry Jack, but it's over. Whatever this is between us, it's over. I cannot stay with you any longer. You've finally cut deep enough and it's killing me."

"What about it is killing you Yan?" Jack asked softly, looking lost, hurt and most of all confused.

"Your flirting with anything that has a pulse, your disappearing acts. I would say your secrets, but I have no room to talk. But the way you close yourself off, even to me. The fact that I know you as well as I do, and most of all, my love for you. I love you so much it hurts, but you dont' see it.

"So Jack, I'm ending it before this thing breaks me to the point that none of this Alien tech can fix me. You no longer have me for a lover Jack. Now if you'll excuse me Sir, I have to go get cleaned up and feed the Weevils."

Jack started open mouthed as Ianto switched so quickly from pained lover to professional, unattached worker.

Ianto didn't look back, just kept going, stopping briefly in the kitchen to grab his extra suit out of the same closet where he kept the ironing board. With that in hand, he headed down to the showers, where he ran into Owen, who had much the same Idea.

"Jack was staring open mouthed at nothing. He's putting the goo covered stuff in the bag."

Ianto nodded and continued to strip silently. Owen was a little shocked at the lack of modestly.

"Owen please stop staring. I have all the same pieces as you do.." he blushed as he wrapped a towel around his waist before slipping off his boxers. Owen followed his friends request and followed suit, skipping the towel.

Both walked into the divided and curtained showers. All that was heard for a few minutes was the sounds of water running. Then Owen had to open his mouth.

"Didja end it Yan?"

"Yes."

That simple, three letter word held all the pain, the grief and the relief that Ianto had swirrling inside of him at that moment. He wanted to cry, but saw absolutely no point in doing it.

Ianto finished scrubbing quickly and got out of there as fast as he could.

As he started dressing, Owen joined him, several lockers over and unlike Ianto, had no modesty whatsoever. Flushing slightly Ianto quickly slipped his pants on over his boxers and under the towel. "Owen could you please have at least a little modesty? What if Tosh walked in here?"

"Well then it wouldn't be anything she hasn't seen already.."

Well that got his attention.

"You and Tosh finally went out?"

"Yup."

He nodded sagely, glad that Owen had _finally_see the light. He was glad for Toshiko, they had spent so much time just talking about the men they loved.

Adjusting his tie, Ianto bid Owen a good day, and headed back out into the Hub, a little afraid of what would happen to him the moment he got out there..


	5. You and I both

_*Disclaimer: I have no right to Torchwood, the characters, or the song lyrics for "You and I Both". The lyrics belong to Mraz and his label. I also have no rights to the movie mentioned, nor Vitamin water._

_*Note: Okay ducks, you know the drill by now. But I'm changing it up a bit now. I'm issuing a challenge. The first person who can guess correctly what Movie I'm hinting at can ask me to write a Torchwood fic for them, doesn't matter the pairing (I'll even write Jack and *gags* Gwen if you so wish). But note, I'm not writing smut, you'll have to find someone else for that luvs. _

_*Warnings: (really can i stop putting these up?) Janto fic, OwenxIanto friendship, meantions of ToshxOwen (yay dead ppl love...but they're not dead here..D)_

_*Side note: Up coming chapters will have Welsh in it. If you can find a English to Welsh free online translator, or would be willing to translate some phrases for me, please PM me. that would be much appreciated on either count. D  
Now, on with what y'all really wanna read, and remember, Reviews are always welcome!_

Nothing had happened to Ianto when he left the showers, nor the day after that, nor the day after that. In fact, nothing happened to Ianto for almost an entire week, and when it did happen, it wasn't at work. No, Ianto had been happily relaxing at home, watching some action movie or another. He wasn't sure of the title, but Owen had given it to him and told him he should watch it instead of all those "girly movies" he had. It actually wasn't that bad, and Ianto would have to ask Owen if he realized the relationship between the two male leads.

Yes, it was actually relaxing to sit and watch people drag race in cool looking cars, while eating fresh popped kettle corn and sipped at his secret vice...Strawberry Kiwi vitamin water. It was sugary and fruity and he knew if Owen found out he'd never hear the end of it.

As the movie progressed, Ianto started to nod off perfectly content for once, when something hit his window. Blearily opening his eyes Ianto saw another smallish rock hit his window. _Oh dear god no.._ he thought, remembering doing that once for a girl he liked. If he gets sung a love ballad from below he's going to dump something on who ever it is. If it's his neighbor because she doesn't have her keys and forgot that she could ring him to let her in, then he'd let her in.

Of all the things Ianto thought of as he walked over to his window and opened it, he never expected to see Jack Harkness, his ex lover, and current boss standing on the front lawn of his apartment building wearing his full dress and had a CD player near him. Oh and he was having such a good night too!

Leaning on the window sill he tilted his head and called, "Yes Sir, is there something I can do for you?"

"Yeah," he called back, and Ianto wondered how many of his neighbors were already up, and how many would try to kill him in the morning. "I'd like you to listen to something."

_Oh god here it comes._ he thought as he braced himself for what ever god awful song Jack had picked.

"_Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me  
Oh things are gonna happen naturally  
Oh taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side  
And balancing out the whole damn thing_

"_Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines_

_And the bright light turns to night_

_Oh until the dawn it brings_

_Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me_

"_'Cause you and I both loved_

_What you and I spoke of_

_And others just read of_

_Others only dream of the love_

_Oh the love that I love, yeah.._

_"See I'm all about them words_

_Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words_

_Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards_

_More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive_

_"'Cause you and I both loved_

_What you and I spoke of_

_And others just read of_

_And if you could see me now_

_"Oh love, love, you and I, you and I_

_Not so little, you and I anymore_

_And with this silence brings a moral story_

_More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy_

_"'Cause you and I both loved_

_What you and I spoke of_

_And others just read of_

_And if you could see me now_

_"Well then I'm almost finally out of_

_I'm finally out of, finally de de de de de de_

_Well I'm almost finally finally_

_Well I am free, oh I'm free_

_"And it's okay if you had to go away_

_Oh, just remember the telephone_

_Well, they're workin it both ways_

_"But if I never, ever hear them ring_

_If nothing else I'll think the bells inside_

_Finally found you someone else and that's okay_

_'Cause I'll remember everything you sang_

_"'Cause you and I both loved_

_What you and I spoke of_

_And others just read of_

_And if you could see me now_

_"Well then I'm almost finally out of_

_I'm finally out of, finally de de de de de de_

_Well I'm almost finally, finally out of words._

"Ianto, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?"

It was a lovely show, Jack had a wonderful voice and the Welshman could clearly see several people had their heads out of the windows to hear better.

"No Jack. There's no forgiving. Please stop making a fool of yourself, you're disturbing my neighbors."

"We don't mind! Keep singing Jack!" the old lady two floors down called and Ianto didn't get any pleasure in Jack's semi-embarrassed blush. Normally he would have grinned and teased him about it, but that was something reserved for friends and lovers. He was no longer either.

"Sorry Ma'am, but if Yanto wants me to go, I'm going. Bye Ianto, sorry if I embaressed you."

What in the name of the Seven Hells was this? Captain Jack Harkness was going down without a fight?!

Ianto grew concerned, but didn't comment, just slid back into his apartment and close the window to block out the most of the noise. Just then his mobile started to ring and picking it up he saw it was Owen.

"Owen?"

"..."

"You're a bit late. He just left."

"......!?!"

"No Owen. He sang to me, and when I told him to go he left without a fight. Has he been drinking?"

"......."

"..Remind me to give that cow de-caf til she either dies or Jack finally Retcons her like he should have in the first place."

"......!"

A smile crossed Ianto's lips at Owen's shock.

"I can be civil to people I strongly dislike. Gwen's never liked me either and you've seen how she acted around me after the..y'know." He still couldn't bring him to say the words "Cyberwoman incident". He just couldn't, despite all the time that had passed it still hurt too much.

"...."

"Yeah, good night Owen," Ianto chuckled at the heartfelt request for some of Jack's coffee on his desk in the morning. "Of Course Owen. And No, I am never going out clubbing and/or bar crawling with you. No. Good night Owen."

"..."

Ianto sighed at the dial tone and hung his own mobile up. Flopping back onto the couch he sighed heavily. The movie was over, his kettle corn cold, and his drink warm. Time to stash the garishly pink drink into the fridge, trash the left over stale pop corn and get to bed. He wanted to be into work, have the coffee made, and into the archives before Jack knew he was there...and that meant early arrival.

His tasks finished he shuffled into his room and drew back the covers. Switching the light off he slid under and settled in for a semi-sleepless night.


End file.
